Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Indignities of Cohabitation

I have been way too busy to blog lately, but the elements have forced me to take a break today.  With that said, I figured it was about time to shed some light onto a dark and sinister issue with which we have been dealing on Bully Hill Farm.

If you are a lady and happen to be living with a man, you know.  It can be degrading, painful, and dare I say, down right disgusting at times.  Messes are left uncleaned, toilet seats are left up, there's body hair, we're just gross.  I see the look on the Mrs.'s face... I get it.  That being said, this degradation is nothing compared to those who are living in abusive relationships.

I have tried to make a happy home for my chickens.  I recently undertook "The Great Coop D'Etat Revitalization Project."  The chickens were pecking at the wallboard, so I added lovely wood paneling.

I even added an outdoor enclosure so that the chickens could get some fresh air during the day without the risk of being devoured by Bumpases or birds of prey.

The Flockers have been quite pleased with their new freedom, but life is not a bed of roses in Coop D'Etat. 

I'll just come out and say it... Little Brett Buckwalter has been sexually assaulting the hens.  Oh, I could try to downplay the whole thing and call it mating.  I could make excuses and say, "This is just the way chickens behave."  I could focus on the positives, and note that Brett is a vigilant protector of his hens, but I can't bring myself to sugar-coat this behavior.  I have seen him do it.  He acts all sweet, gives some high pitched "bocks" and dances around.  Then when he gets the attention of a young lady, he pounces on her back, his sharp talons grabbing at her supply flesh.  He bites the back of her neck, gyrates and flaps his wings, and then jumps off as if nothing has happened.  The poor hen stumbles away dazed, not knowing what hit her.  It is upsetting and terrible to watch.

Brett doesn't care or feel any remorse.

What's worse, he has picked his favorite targets, Camilla and my gentle little Eu-Eu.  Both girls have been subjected to so many attacks that Brett has torn out all of the feathers from their backs.  Without their feathers, I feared that Brett would start cutting them with his groping and grabbing claws.  The other chickens could start pecking at the wounds.  Thus, I had to do the unthinkable. 

Nobody is happy about this.  But...

I had to put aprons on Eunice and Camilla.

Camilla has never been the brightest of chickens, and I'm not sure that she even knows.  My darling Eu-Eu, however, is appalled.  I can see it in her face... she is angry.

She has been giving me rather judgmental looks too.

But alas, this is the only way to keep her from being injured.  Hopefully, her feathers will grow back quickly and she can look like a proper Orpington again.

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