Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Dear Mother Nature,

We give up.  I believe I speak for most of Baltimore and perhaps all of the Mid-Atlantic when I say that we are humbled by your might.  We apologize for all of the greenhouse gas and NOx emissions, water pollutants, poor land management practices, SUV's, reality television shows, and/or anything else that might have angered you.  Your vengeance is as cold and deep as it is fierce.  We should have learned from the example you made of Canada, but frankly, I still don't think anything we've done has risen to the level of Loverboy and Brian Adams.  Regardless, we are sorry for whatever we have done.  Mistakes were made and we shall do our best to correct them.

Now that we have gotten the apologies out of the way, I would really appreciate it if you stopped with the snow already.  It just isn't funny anymore.  Frankly, this is downright rude:

(Keep in mind this is a 4 foot fence)

(You can't even see the 26" jumps... they are buried a foot down)


That is Coop D'Etat on the far right.  Little Brett and the girls are in there! 

Now, when people do great things in the line of work, they do not like to be called heroes.  Firemen, police officers, ER doctors, etc... they all consider their actions to be part of what they are called to do on daily basis.  I am not one of these men.  I am a chicken hero.

I jumped to action in the middle of the blizzard of the century.  I was going to rescue my chickens!  Shovel in hand, I pushed out the back door and into snow that came up to my waist.  My well worn track from this morning had already been covered and the snow had drifted to about 4 feet deep on their porch.  Daddy is coming for you!  I struggled to dig a path to their door.

As I cleared the snow away from the entrance, the chickens could hear the sound of the shovel scraping against their coop... their home that had been transformed into a snowy prison.  They called out to me, "we're in here, help us... we are very bored, and we would like some more freeze dried, berry-flavored mealworms."  Their beautiful voices were tainted with desperation. Were they OK?!?!?!?!?

Before I answer that, let me show you some other pictures.  This is what we like to call a cliff-hanger.

The dogs were in a similarly dire situation.  How does one go to the bathroom in snow that goes above your head?

Tubbers was desperate for answers... and frankly, I did not like the one she seemed to be hinting at.  I sprang into action.  Shovel in hand, I pushed my way out of the front door and into waist high snow.  My carpet and Tubber's dignity were at stake.  I cleared off the front porch and dug a tunnel down to the spruce tree in the front yard.  There the dogs could find some cover and respite.  For more security and privacy, I dug out the snow under the pine tree and made walls under the branches.  It was like a fort to protect them from the howling winds and biting cold.

Brave Pea was the first into the foxhole.  It was a bit slippery, but it would do.  She called back to her incontinent companion.

The coast was clear... or the steps were kind of cleared off... whatever.

Tubbers could not even wait for Petunia to get out of the way.   They both drove down the snowy trench, around the corner, and under the big spruce.  They quickly christened it Fort Latrine.  Just as quickly as they came, they left...

Crisis averted, but what of the chickens? Well, before we get to that, the horses have been rather put out by the storm too. 

Poor Ellie was keeping watch and waiting expectantly for her breakfast.  I sprang action.  Shovel in hand, I pushed out the back door and... yada yada yada.  I dug out the area between the two barns so that they could get around easier, but frankly they have been getting around pretty well.  They actually don't seem all that inclined to seek cover.

After they ate their grain, they popped back into the yard to hang out.  Thankfully, they had the sense to go inside after a while.

I could not get a shot of Kane because she is white and the visibility was that bad when I had her out.  I did have to check on the Bumpases.  Shovel in hand, yada yada yada....

They were fine.  It was actually pretty warm and dry at the back of the garage.

But what of the Chickens?!?!?!?

As I got to the door of Coop D'Etat, I struggled with the lock which was frozen solid....

Yea, they were fine.  I gave them some scratch, some more feed, and even some mealworms and then went back inside. 

It's tough being a hero, but I make it look pretty easy.  Hopefully, my efforts to save animal friends will convince Mother Nature that we are all worth saving.  If so, you can all thank me later.

1 comment:

Vegan Burnout said...

Those are some toasty, happy chickens. Lucy sympathizes with HT and Pea. Also, she can now walk over the 4-ft back fence via a snow bridge that has shored itself up on either side. So far, she has chosen not too, probably because she knows that noms and naps on our bed are at stake.